There is nothing in the world that women can’t achieve. They are contributing to the society in ways that were primitively thought unimaginable. When women are given their independence, they start growing into a confident and a successful individual. But confidence does not come overnight. They work hard to reach their position and once they achieve a commendable status, they maintain it. Even the way they speak and the phrases confident women use, help them a lot at their workplace
A woman must be confident in whatever she says and does. You must assert yourself because we sadly live in a society that is still phallocentric. Yes, women rights and feminism has brought a change, but look carefully. Women are still seen as the weaker sex, unfortunately. What makes confident women the way they are, is, that they are never apologetic when it comes to something as basic as their own right. Everyone is given the freedom to express whatever they like. No one needs to ask for permission to be heard. Women do need to be told what to do. They know their job better than anyone else.
You will notice that a confident woman will never be the butt of any joke at her workplace. She will never indulge in office gossips and will say whatever she wants, whenever she wants. A confident lady will never fear what others will think of her. I know it can be difficult to be that women because some of us are very soft-spoken, but this task is not impossible. The first step to maintaining that level of confidence requires you to acquire a small yet an important thing, which – my fair ladies – is a smart vocabulary. Do trust me when I say it is not very difficult, but then nor is it a child’s play either.
The meaning of confidence is that you believe in your ideas and beliefs. You have faith in yourself and you need no one to depend upon. So let’s start with the basic requirement to be a confident woman. Let us delve into the work lives of these confident women and take something away from what they do. What I observed is that these women speak exactly like us but they tend to use certain phrases in their dealings which we don’t normally use.
Confident women will never ask for permission and wait for answers. They will make use of the phrase, “Sorry to disturb but…” When a confident woman knows she is right she will directly put her points across. She will be apologetic enough to acknowledge that she is disturbing you but she won’t “ask” whether she could discuss matters with you. The minute you ask for permission, you are indirectly giving authority to the opposite person. At workplaces, people can take advantage if they know that you are submissive. Always walk to the front of the person and tell say what you have to say. Never ask them whether you could disturb them, because you may not be prepared for the answer they give. And when you start asking more, others will start demanding more. Be assertive and put your points across emphatically.
An assured woman never shows self-doubt. She will be humble enough to not show her expertise and therefore prefer using the phrase, “I am no expert.” When you use phrases like “I am not sure but,” none of your colleagues will take you seriously. When you are working in big companies, you need to be sure of how you say what you feel. Even if you have doubts, never show it to the rest.
When you claim you are no expert and then complete what you have to say, it speaks of you as a humble person, but at the same time it also shows everyone that you know your job well. Claiming to be an expert is not something that confident women do. They will never be too proud about their knowledge but then they will not risk coming forward as someone who does not know anything. They will only speak when they are spoken to and talk sensibly at all times. When you use this phrase it shows how well-informed you are. This is one of those phrases confident women use very regularly and trust me, it makes a lot of difference.
Never apologise all the time, woman! There are quite a few of us who say sorry at least 10-20 times a day. You might be shocked but take my word that I too used to say sorry a lot. If someone asks me to shut the door after I enter, I would say sorry. I would say sorry even when someone pointed out an insignificant error,. If I forgot something as trivial as a glass of water for someone, I would say sorry. Even if I had to leave work early than usual, I would end up saying sorry. I soon realised that I kept saying sorry every second hour, even when I did not require to apologise. Such naivety is not good because your colleagues may start getting their work done from you and even if you missed out on it, you would be sorry.
At workplaces, you must be very careful because people can easily take you for granted. Stop apologising. Instead learn to replace sorry with something better. So if you forget to do something and someone reminds you of it you can say, “Oh yes! I forgot, but thank you for drawing my attention to it.” There are many ways to avoid saying sorry especially if it is not your fault or if you did not anything intentionally. For someone like me it is easier to say sorry, but remember, people will only use you as a door-mat and step over you, leaving you behind. Be bold enough to not be apologetic so that people know you cannot be trifled with.
So don’t hide behind a cloak. Be bold enough to become the woman you need to be and not the woman you are told to be. Workplace cultures can be stressful because there will always be someone who will try to undermine you. What you need to know is that you must be confident of yourself and not lose focus. I really hope these phrases for confident woman help you in whatever you do. Believe me, it will not happen overnight, but you need to keep trying and making a conscious effort to start saying the right things at the right time.
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