Passive Aggressive Phrases To Avoid In The Workplace

With people flooding back into the daily commute and routine of socializing, you’ve got to be on your best behavior. 

Passive-aggressive behavior in the workplace is very common because an individual would rather be fallacious, than be the root of any conflict, in a formal workspace.  Teams that avoid confrontations and don’t vent their disagreements are in a blind belief that they have no conflicts. And that’s the problem. If people don’t find a trusted channel to voice out their opinion or woes, they will find unproductive ways to be heeded.

You must have surely come across a colleague whose remarks or replies sounded snide or rude-but-not-rude. That’s being micro-aggressive. To express hostility or remnants of anger indirectly is to be passive-aggressive.

“Individuals who are reluctant to be honest and are a self-proclaimed conflict-averse team member, are typically the ones who may end up sounding passive-aggressive, unintentionally too.“

The workplace should create a safe space for employees to communicate honestly because stifling dissent could concoct a negative environment. Incoherent behaviors will affect the cumulative culture of the workplace and interfere with the productivity of everyone involved. 

People render their personal vendettas through emails rather than vis-à-vis because of their assumptions, poor anger management skills, conflict aversion and the fear of failure, says Business Voice coach Susan Room. 

A colleague lost in pensive thoughts of instances where he faced passive-aggression. Image Credit – Photo by olia danilevich: https://www.pexels.com/photo/man-in-purple-dress-shirt-using-macbook-pro-5313158/

PASSIVE AGGRESSIVE PHRASES TO AVOID IN THE WORKPLACE AND A GUIDE TO ALTERNATIVES:

Cultivating an environment where team members do not feel attacked to express themselves, is acknowledging the work culture of transparent communication. 

Everyone receives enough emails. No one wants them to be layered with sass. 

To assist you, in this vertical, we curated certain passive-aggressive phrases to avoid in the workplace. Conjointly, we share alternative phrases you can use instead of the unintended but apparent passive-aggressive phrases: 

Instance 1: “As per our conversation” / “As discussed” 

Alternative: “As discussed” and “Per our conversation” are the most passive-aggressive phrases to avoid in the workplace. These phrases imply that the sender is curt. “Building on our conversation” can be used preferably. 

Instance 2: “Kind Regards”

Alternative: If you want to sound very distant, “Kind Regards” would be appropriate to do so. “Best wishes” or “All the best” is a friendly and warmer alternative.  

Instance 3: “Make Sure”

Alternative: “Make sure” you don’t miss anything? It’s a hardcore instruction that underestimates the recipient’s ability. Encourage cooperativeness by enclosing an “I value your attention to detail..”

Instance 4: “Noted”

Alternative: The monosyllabic brusque response of ‘Noted’ is not always well-received. A polite alternative is “I have taken note of this” or “I will take this into consideration.”

Instance 5: “According to my records”

Alternative: Instead of “According to my records”, which sounds blunt and uptight, you can say “I think I might be wrong, but from what I know…” which could sound more gentle. 

Instance 6: “Pay Attention”

Alternative: It’s a very judgmental thing to say. The sender should not perceive the recipient as lazy or neglectful. The opposite way to mean this could be “I would like to draw your kind attention to..”

Instance 7: “Circling back”

Alternative: “Glad we could connect. I’d just like to follow up on..” is a humble alternative to the abrupt “circling back.”

Instance 8: “Thanks in advance”

Alternative: Ending an email with “Thanks in advance” is considered to be terse and stale. One should not presume that the recipient is going to start working on the details right away. A better option to say so is with “I appreciate your efforts and time..” 

Instance 9: “No Offense..”

Alternative: Everyone can unanimously accept that when they say “No offense..” it is because they mean offense but just do not want to deal with the consequences. When offering constructive criticism, be graceful, not rude. An alternative is “With due respect” or “This may sound wrong, but please consider…” 

Instance 10: “Obviously..”

Alternative: Don’t dismiss someone else’s candid conversation condescendingly by implying that what they are saying is basic knowledge. Instead, you can say, “No doubt what you said was true…” or “Yes I am aware of..”

Instance 11: “Just in case you missed it..”

Alternative: This passive-aggressive phrase could imply that the recipient is shrugging off responsibilities or lagging. A positive alternative would be, “I would like to illuminate this to you…”.

Instance 12: “Going forward, I would prefer” 

Alternative: No one would prefer your temperamental and dismissive “Going forward, I’d prefer..”. Refer to this if you don’t want to come across as passive-aggressive.  

Talk in person with the recipient to not create misunderstandings and explain your predicament. 

Instance 13: “Friendly reminder” / “Gentle reminder”

Alternative: We all know that subtle “Just a friendly reminder” is obviously not friendly. An alternative could be a plain “I’m sure you have a lot on your plate, so apologies to remind you of..”. 

Instance 14: “As per my last email” / “I would like to follow up on my previous email”

Alternative: “As per my last email”, is just downright rude, not to mention that the sender feels the recipient is aimlessly waiting in their inbox for their email. An empathetic, “Don’t mind but only because it’s important, I’m having to reinforce my previously stated point..” would be more humane and understanding. 

Instance 15: “I don’t mean to be rude..”

Alternative: Oh but you are sounding rude. An alternative to managing such conflict is “Based on this feedback, I would love to see your new ideas for..”

Instance 16: “Correct me if I’m wrong..”

Alternative: When you say, “Correct me if I’m wrong”, you are trying to insinuate that the recipient is erroneous. A simple “Hey, (this) is what I know. I honestly could be wrong..” would sound less obnoxious. 

Instance 17: “Some of us think”

Alternative: The recipient may feel alienated and can feel humiliated in the group with the passive-aggressive phrase, “Some of us think..”. Be conducive to productivity by saying, “I’m afraid we won’t be able to move ahead with this.. “ or “We should re-group and discuss the factors again..”

Instance 18: “I look forward to hearing from you”

Alternative: “I look forward to hearing from you” sounds presumptuous. Instead, one can try “What are your thoughts on this? How does this sound?” which invites the recipient to respond. 

Instance 19: “Please advise” 

Alternative: “I would value your advice” is better than the bossy and ignorant, “Please advise.”

Instance 20: “Any updates on this?”

Alternative: A very snobby and arrogant phrase to ask the recipient for details of improvements is to ask “Any updates on this?”. Rather, one could say “I guess you’re engaged in tons of work, but what’s the latest on… the deadline is .. and I need your data..”  

Reflect on your intrusive self and ask yourself, “Did I sound passive-aggressive?”

Always follow the golden rule, “Treat other people just how you would like to be treated.” Encouraging empathetic intentions boosts the morale of the employees. 

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