In this month’s feature of Q&A With Jane, Jane Harper, our resident workplace expert with over 20 years of HR leadership experience, addresses some of the most pressing work-related dilemmas sent in by our readers. From navigating tricky office politics to finding the perfect work-life balance, Jane’s advice is both practical and empathetic. Let’s dive into this month’s conundrum.
Dear Jane,
I recently started a new job, and while I love the role and the company, I’ve been struggling with one of my colleagues. Let’s call him Mark. Mark has a habit of interrupting me during meetings and even taking credit for some of my ideas. I’m unsure how to address this without coming across as confrontational or jeopardizing my relationship with the team. What should I do?
Sincerely, Frustrated but Hopeful
Dear Frustrated but Hopeful,
First, let me commend you for reaching out and seeking a thoughtful way to handle this situation. Workplace dynamics can be tricky, especially when it comes to addressing behaviors that feel disrespectful or dismissive. However, the good news is that with the right approach, you can address this issue constructively and even strengthen your professional relationships in the process.
Here’s a step-by-step guide to navigate this:
Before taking any action, take a moment to reflect on specific instances where Mark’s interruptions or idea-stealing occurred. Jot down dates, meetings, and details. This isn’t about building a case against him but rather ensuring you have a clear understanding of the pattern. Sometimes, what feels like a recurring issue might be isolated incidents, but if it’s consistent, you’ll want concrete examples to refer to.
Consider whether Mark’s behavior stems from a lack of awareness, competitiveness, or something else. While it’s impossible to know someone’s motives entirely, giving him the benefit of the doubt initially can help you approach the situation with empathy rather than frustration.
The most effective way to address this is through a private, one-on-one conversation with Mark. Choose a time when both of you are calm and not pressed for deadlines. Here’s an example of how you could start the conversation:
“Mark, I’ve noticed a pattern during our meetings where I’ve been interrupted while sharing my ideas. I’m sure it’s not intentional, but I’d really appreciate the chance to fully articulate my thoughts before moving on to other points. Could we work together on this?”
This approach is non-confrontational and focuses on collaboration rather than blame. By framing the issue as something you’d like to work on together, you’re more likely to receive a positive response.
In parallel, find subtle ways to assert yourself during meetings. For example:
The goal here is not to call him out publicly but to ensure your contributions are acknowledged.
If the behavior persists, consider seeking support from a trusted colleague or your manager. Be careful to frame the conversation constructively. For instance:
“I’ve been working on improving how I communicate my ideas in meetings, but I’ve noticed some challenges with being interrupted. Do you have any advice on how I can navigate this more effectively?”
This keeps the focus on your growth while subtly highlighting the issue.
If Mark’s behavior doesn’t improve despite your efforts, it may be time to involve HR or your manager more formally. Present your concerns professionally, backed by the examples you’ve documented. Remember, the goal is to create a more collaborative environment, not to “get Mark in trouble.”
Finally, continue to build your confidence and credibility within the team. Speak up in meetings, volunteer for projects, and seek opportunities to showcase your skills. The more visible and impactful your contributions, the harder it will be for anyone to overlook or undermine you.
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Dear Jane,
I’ve been working remotely for the past three years, and while I enjoy the flexibility, I’ve started to feel disconnected from my team. Virtual meetings feel transactional, and I miss the camaraderie of in-office interactions. How can I rebuild a sense of connection without giving up remote work?
Best, Isolated but Independent
Dear Isolated but Independent,
Your situation is one that many remote workers are grappling with as the world adjusts to new ways of working. While remote work offers undeniable benefits, fostering connection requires intentional effort. Here’s how you can rebuild a sense of camaraderie while maintaining your independence:
Suggest regular virtual hangouts that aren’t work-related. These could be team trivia sessions, virtual coffee breaks, or even online escape rooms. The goal is to create spaces where team members can bond beyond tasks and deadlines.
Organize virtual co-working sessions where team members can log into a shared video call while working independently. This mimics the feel of being in the same room and opens up opportunities for casual conversation.
Reach out to colleagues individually for informal catch-ups. A simple message like, “Hey, it’s been a while since we’ve chatted. Want to grab a virtual coffee this week?” can go a long way in rekindling connections.
If your organization occasionally hosts in-person events or retreats, make an effort to attend. These moments can deepen relationships and provide a stronger foundation for virtual collaboration.
In virtual meetings, don’t shy away from sharing small personal updates or anecdotes. This invites others to do the same and fosters a sense of familiarity and trust.
Use platforms like Slack or Microsoft Teams to engage with your team more casually. Channels dedicated to non-work topics (e.g., hobbies, pets, or favorite recipes) can be a fun way to connect.
Finally, be open with your manager about your desire for stronger team connections. They may have insights or resources to help bridge the gap.
By taking proactive steps, you can enjoy the best of both worlds—the flexibility of remote work and the warmth of meaningful connections. Remember, workplace relationships are like any other: they thrive on consistent effort and genuine care.
Have a workplace dilemma of your own? Send your questions to Q&A With Jane at askjane@hrdigest.com. You might just see your query featured in our next issue!
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